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Getting along with someone new can be challenging when you’re in a roommate setting. If you’re a freshman and you chose a random roommate then there’s a chance you have nothing in common with them. I personally had a horrible situation my freshman year, mostly because my roommates and I were completely different people. However, I tried my best to make it work and these are a few tips on how you can do the same!
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Invite them out with you
The first few weeks of classes a lot of people are going to be reserved, especially if they’re introverted. If your roommate isn’t talking to you a whole lot it might be because they aren’t comfortable yet in their new surroundings. An easy solution to this is to invite them out with you, anywhere you think you could have fun together! Take them to a movie, bowling, dinner, or out on the weekends. Get yourself out of the typical routine and into an environment where it’ll be easy to get along and bond. Try to really get to know them better, which you can do by asking them all sorts of questions. If you’re awful at small talk then you can google ‘questions to get to know someone’ and you’ll find a ton of options!
Understand your boundaries
A lot of roommate issues can come from being passive aggressive. If you or your roommate tends to hold things in when you’re upset, nothing is going to ever get better. It’s so, so important to tell your roommate what upsets you early on, or else they’ll be spending the rest of the year thinking it doesn’t bother you when it does. Do you like no music on while you’re studying? Do you like going to bed late when they like going to bed early? Finding common ground on your preferences are so essential to getting along in college. Try to compromise so that both of you are happy and comfortable with your living arrangements.
Tell them about your day
This is something I didn’t do often enough my freshman year, and I really think it would’ve changed everything. Doing something as simple as telling your roommate a crazy story that happened to you that day, or even how you did on your quiz, can really do wonders. Telling someone personal things and asking them for advice can create a great friendship, because by being vulnerable with them you’re allowing them to be comfortable with being vulnerable back.
Complimenting people is not only a great tip for becoming friends with your roommate, but for becoming friends with anyone. One of my favorite quotes goes something like, “People don’t remember you, they remember how you made them feel”. This is so true. When you compliment someone it can make their day so much better, so why not do it? They’ll remember what you said and they’ll associate you with feeling good. So as far as complimenting your roommate, if you notice they’re wearing a nice outfit or you like how they did their hair, then say something about it!
If you still don’t think it’ll work out, don’t be afraid to switch roommates
When you and your roommate seriously don’t get along, it’s much better to ask for a new roommate rather than being miserable all year long. Try not to end on bad terms, instead talk to them about how you think you’re better off in a different living arrangement, however you’d still like to be friends. I’ve talked about this before in previous posts, but I really can’t stress enough how important it is to remain friends with as many people as possible.